I’m Reem, a Palestinian American woman living across borders and between worlds. Born in Kuwait to Palestinian parents and raised in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, I spent significant time in Amman, Jordan, the country where I actually held a passport. Growing up across these countries, I developed a complex identity shaped by displacement, belonging and the rich Arab culture and traditions that connected my different homes.

Coming to America

In 1997, I graduated high school in May, celebrated my 17th birthday in June, then my family and I embarked on our annual summer journey. Since I was 5, we’d alternated summers, one year visiting with my uncles and aunt in San Francisco, the next visiting with grandparents and large family in Amman.

That summer was different, coming just after graduation when my future path was not yet clear. I had university acceptances both in Amman and in California. Eventually, I convinced my parents to let me stay with my uncle and aunt in California.

College years

College brought unexpected challenges. Though I had studied English and developed good command of it, my entire education and curriculum had been in Arabic. My overconfidence in understanding both the language and culture left me even less prepared for the difficulties ahead.

While adjusting to the new academic environment, I navigated the tension between my parents’ emphasis on preserving our values and traditions and my attraction to American culture. This tension was amplified by the distance, as they attempted to maintain their influence across an ocean after years of raising me in a more structured and traditional household. I simultaneously experienced excruciating homesickness and the desire for independence from what I saw as suffocating control, all while trying to understand my college mates, my new culture and environment, and blend in, which is so important to a teenager at the doorstep of adulthood.

The dynamics shifted when my sister moved in with me a year later, followed by my parents and remaining siblings in 2000. Just as I had found my footing in America, now I witnessed their culture shock while struggling with my own regression to family patterns.

Building a life in America

Despite struggling significantly in college, I persevered and eventually earned a BS in computer science. Along the way, I became a U.S. citizen in 2001. After graduation, life unfolded rapidly. I built my career and established roots in California. Throughout my 20s and 30s, I navigated the complex balance many immigrants face, sometimes focusing on adapting to American culture, other times seeking connection with people who shared my background and understood the nuances of straddling two worlds. Ironically, as the years passed, my relationship with my parents and family grew stronger than ever. The very cultural differences that once created tension became bridges of understanding as we all matured and found our footing in this new shared homeland.

In 2023, I married my American husband Nat, who converted to Islam before our wedding. He’s a Missouri born, Pennsylvania raised former Marine turned emergency RN with a surfboard and jiu jitsu gi. Despite our different roots, our marriage weaves two paths into one, unified by deeply shared values and a partnership that transcends our outward differences.

Roots & return

We’ll soon embark on a journey to Jordan and Saudi Arabia, with a couple of stops along the way. I haven’t been to Saudi Arabia since 2000, and to Jordan since 2007. This journey is meaningful both as a personal reconnection and as an opportunity to introduce my husband to the places and people that shaped me.

As my husband experiences my family’s hospitality, traditions and stories firsthand, I’m looking forward to seeing these nostalgic environments with fresh perspective. My parents will be joining us, adding another layer of connection as they share their memories and perspectives alongside mine. Sharing these parts of my identity with my husband will deepen our relationship and honor the multicultural foundation of our marriage.

I’ll be sharing glimpses of our travels here as each location reveals pieces of my story waiting to be rediscovered, both with my husband and perhaps, with you.